July 29, 2009

O hey, remember that one time it was so stupid hot that you oozed across the city looking for a fan like it was the answer to all of life's mysteries and you reinforced your hatred for Canadian Tire and Home Depot because their employees love to chat right after they tell you they never have what you want while you're already back in your car frantically rolling down the passenger side window while driving with no seatbelt praying the next stop has even a blade, a pole and some glue so you can sleep while Nuv has the fan in the other room because he needs only 3 hours sleep and IV's of Red Rose to function and his family is from India so he maintains his cool ambivalence about the weather while you drip around the apartment moaning and crying, and then your friend called to tell you the heat fucked her over and made her faint but then somebody knocked on the door for like the first time ever because apartment buildings are supposed to delete surprise knocks, and this is the one time in your life ever you were wearing bra & underwear around the apartment to put together the fan you finally found at a dollar store that was on sale when they should have seen in your eyes you would have paid quadruple the price and carried that box out of the store high over your head like a fresh deer kill, and then you scanned the room frantically to find something to wear to answer the door and prayed it wasn't a neighbor saying, "Um, I drilled a hole through our adjoining wall to spy on girls in their underwear, but you're not anything I'd ever want to see, so could you please get dressed?" but no, it's the poor power wash guys wishing they had stayed in school looking for a leak source and you nonchalantly kicked your crumpled jeans and socks that were LAYING IN THE FOYER where you shed them like a big snake, and tried to act cool clutching the pink Asian robe Matt Haddow got you for a wedding present that has no tie, and then the men left, you called your friend back, you had a shower that was cold and splashed in it like you were at a waterpark built for one and ate a popsicle and realized you hadn't updated your site in forever despite having a MULTITUDE of shitty and glorious things happen in the last few weeks. So you start with this.

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